My apologies for being AWOL. For some time. I’ve had many life changes in the time since my last entry. I should be getting back to a regular state again soon. Thank you for your patience all.
This is just a little response to some comments on a meme I commented on that said “Lord please increase my hunger for your word”. It just set me off so I bit. A good friend of mine but as you all know when we’re “woke” we want our friends to get there as well. My rant:
I was a Christian for 35 years. Have studied the scriptures my whole life. Studied the Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic. Have studied scholars, historians, the historicity of Jesus etc. the general consensus is that there’s little to no evidence of actual events, people etc. See Bart Ehrman, Hector Avalos, John Loftus etc. Christianity and all Abrahamic religions provides a disease (sin) and a cure (salvation) and both were allowed by the supposed creator. Yahweh, Jehovah, whoever you want to call them, are omniscient, omnipresent etc. Yet allowed and created the problem, slaughtered billions time and time again for his mistakes that he blames us for. Then sends himself to impregnate a virgin (never happened, the Greek always mistranslated young woman for virgin), then sends himself to sacrifice himself to appease himself to forgive man. Utter nonsense. Aside from that God was a genocidal, tyrannical, mysogonistic, pro slavery, anti human rights, jealous, sadistic torturous, narcissistic dictator. If you think I’m too much just read the OT again. Oh that’s the old covenant you say? But he’s the same yesterday today and tomorrow.
No thank you! Hail Satan!
No with evolution being a fact, sciences being proven day in and day out, knowing that the earth is 13.4 billion years old, that consciousness is in the brain and that when the brain dies so does consciousness, neuroscience proving more and more, medicine healing people not faith healer quacks wearing glasses saying the eye is perfect, etc, religion is utter nonsense. Then you say yours is right. Christianity. Really? Arminian doctrine or Calvinist doctrine? Or which one of the 33,000 different denominations of Christianity? None of them agree. Surely one must be right.
Then there’s Islam that says it’s right. Also Abrahamic. You don’t believe it’s claim? Why not? Judaism? Abrahamic. You don’t believe it’s claim. How come? Buddhism? No? Hinduism? Mithraism? Odinism? Satanism? Luciferianism? Norse gods? Wicca? How come they’re all wrong and yours is right?
The other 9000 religions? All wrong? Just yours? Because your book says so just like theirs? Hmm.
Did you know that the virgin birth is not exclusive to Christianity? Nor is the redirection. Nope. There’s at least 20 other gods that came before Christ that did the same thing. Christianity is just another younger reincarnation of the same nonsense of Iron Age man trying to make sense of their place in the universe.
Me personally, I just take it one god farther and say it’s all bs. Because really, even you christians are taking a gamble according to someone’s religion. Even other denominations in your own. We’re all going to hell in someone’s religion. Lol. So enjoy the ride.
Happy Winter Solstice all. My apologies in delay of recent postings.
Yesterday I saw a post on social media from an old friend who’s a believer. There’s only so many that have survived my theist purge. Ones I’ve done life with or that I was close with in bible college. I normally do not post or respond to the ridiculous things I see from them that come across my feed. This time I could not help but comment as it’s over christians leaving Netflix over the gay Jesus movie vs not letting go of their Harry Potter books.
I’m going to be inserting my responses as well as hopefully highlighting the true damage that belief into late adulthood can cause. Simply by the post and a few responses.
The post: “It amazes me how many Christians are canceling their Netflix account but Lord please don’t touch the Harry Potter collection. #letthatsoak”
First reply: “Cancelled mine because I will not stand for the MOCKERY OF JESUS CHRIST! They also have put movies on there for LGBTQ people and it’s very disturbing. Parents should not let kids watch this”.
Next reply: “Regular Tv has bad things all the time…also don’t drink Sunny Delight…..it’s owner is a Satan worshiper…..just saying 😁.” (Omitted the rest of the reply).
My response to the Satanist reply: “Satanists don’t believe in a literal Satan nor do they worship him. It’s the symbolism and ideology of the adversary. The adversary opposing those that would come against human rights and hinder religious freedoms. Man, a little research goes a long way. Trust me I know. I’m an Atheist first and foremost and a member of The Satanic Temple.
The reply: “Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world. Be a member of whom you want, your choice.” This is a woman in her 60’s or 70’s. Rebuttals with scripture, offers no acknowledgment of having learned something. Typical.
Next my response to the original post: “Why cancel Netflix? You didn’t produce the movie. Just don’t watch it. Harry Potter? Simply because of the word witchcraft which is about as real as god is.
Everyone was fine with The Lord of the Rings because Tolkien wrote it and was a Christian. Wizards and magic but no boycott. What about the billions of mind crimes committed daily? The porn habits, gluttony, pictures of jesus (graven images), greed, etc. What I can’t fathom is why people believe the Bible is more than a fairytale? I mean a good god who’s killed and tortured billions of people? A god who sends other good people to an eternal hell for simply having the common sense not to buy into talking snakes, magic apple tree curses (put there by god), a 300ft high tower that offended god so bad that he (made different languages) while we have an international space station that he’s not doing anything about? Chariots of fire and talking donkeys, whales that swallow Jonah and he lives 3 days (scientifically impossible), not only that but god sends himself (holy spirit), to impregnate a girl, to give birth to himself, to kill himself, to appease himself? When he could’ve just done it right in the beginning?
Satan is the bad guy but has a body count of 10. God is the good guy with a body count of billions. Hmm. I’ll take Satan for 500 please. Not only that, there’s 22,000 denominational differences in Christianity alone. None agree with the others. Then, 2 theological camps encompassing them all. But he’s not the author of confusion. Hmm. So which Jesus or god are you trying to appease? And under those contexts none of you have it right. Next, there’s no original scriptures left. What you have are copies of copies of copies of copies and scribes were known to as or remove passages based on political climate or commission.
Then you have the fact that the virgin birth, death, burial and resurrection is not exclusive to Christianity. In fact Christianity is the youngest religion to reincarnate such claims. Then take all the other religions, even just the Abrahamic ones outside of Christianity. Judaism and Islam. You guys don’t believe those but their books also say they’re true and he’ll to pay if you don’t believe. Then there’s hundreds more that say the same yet we take them as myth. So really, everyone’s going to hell in some religion.
The critical thinking person using logic and reason is free from such nonsense like quarrels over a fake show or fake movies because all gods and religions are nothing more than myths and the early attempts of Iron Age man to make sense of the universe. Eat, drink, be merry, be good to people, watch Gay Jesus or don’t. It doesn’t matter. This life is all we get. Use your mind! This is all obviously myth and nonsense. Don’t waste your life.”
First response: “you just got ahold of a little leaven and over time it ruined you. And for the record Christianity doesn’t go against human rights it actually promotes it.”
Second response: “Dude there is so much sad (sad because I love you) blah blah blah in that comment I could be here all day addressing each issue but I’m not doing that with you. I’m glad your happy I just wish it was eternal and not temporary. Love ya man peace.”
Third response paraphrasing: “Movies and books aren’t the problem with the world, it’s peoples morality.”
My response: “Well contrary to popular belief, morality doesn’t come from the Bible. If that was the case morality has only been around for 2000 years and we’d have all killed each other thousands of years ago. People liking Harry Potter or a risky version of the Jesus story (which I wouldn’t personally watch) doesn’t make them immoral. It’s what they do for or against people that makes them immoral. Books and movies don’t hurt people.
I’ve known more Atheists and Satanists that are more moral and better “Christians” than most Christians. They are humanists. That’s what the theist lacks is pure humanism. Because if an ancient text says x y and z is bad then you can’t just love them as a human. You have a bias and an agenda. God supposedly gave moral instruction yet went against his own teachings. Thall shalt not kill: kills billions repeatedly. Don’t lie etc, sends deceiving spirits. Do unto others: promotes slavery. Don’t covet your neighbors wife/commit adultery: allows rapists to get away with adultery and the worst form of immorality as long as said rapist pays the girls father and marries her. Supposedly gives free will yet hardens the heart of pharaoh and allows Lucifer to destroy job over a bet. Kids make fun of a prophet being bald and allows him to call fourth two she bears to maul and kill the 40 children having fun. But that’s moral right? And y’all worship this tyrannical narcissist and worry about books and movies. Where’s the logic? And then say well that was OT yet he’s the same yesterday today and tomorrow. If you truly want better morality, remove religion completely and the biases. That book along with all the others when believed is what hurts people more than anything. It doesn’t line up with natural reality, makes sex (a natural human thing) immoral unless it’s in one context, makes people being born one way due to physiological issues abominations, has caused more wars and death than anything in history. No atheists or Satanists have ever killed thousands. Btw Hitler was catholic and had the backing of the church. Stalin was atheist but didn’t kill over his non belief. Again, books and movies aren’t the problem. People with dogmatic ideologies that suppress the scientific and mental growth of humanity and create hard line agendas are the problem. Just saying.”
Then silence of course. These are grown adults. Some with college degrees and some with a negative IQ I’m sure. This is just sad to me. One that we’re this far along as a species and still hold to these mind numbing and life crippling doctrines. That adults can believe such tales as adults is mind boggling. The lack of research or desire for truth is profound among theists. I can empathize to a point as I used to be one for a very long time, but when I saw so many things that didn’t make sense of line up, I researched and dug and read and read, and I found my way out. I know we are all at different levels and have different cognitive abilities but so much of this should be blatantly obvious.
All we can do is keep fighting the good fight and stay aligned with those who would politically challenge laws that would hinder equal rights and continue to be the voice of reason. Some will find their way out, more will not but it’s upto us, the evangelistic Atheists and Street Epistemologists.
For me, as I was in my first year of bible college in 09, I would’ve never guessed that what I was going through would ever have led me to become an apostate. Not in a million years! It wasn’t until a doctrinal shift and some years later that I would look back to see that my change was happening then and the following years with a small “chink in the armor” one hit at a time.
This as a very close topic to me as it’s really began to define me and what I’m about now. I’m not 100% sure if the exact moment it happened but I know what it started with as it began to form definition.
I was in rehab in 2017 for an alcohol issue that had gotten away from me as I travelled for a living. Even then I knew that any treatment I received or therapy, I wanted to be secular and sciences based. I’d done Christian counseling and therapy before and it never helped. It only compounded the problems. You know: you need more faith or more bible or more accountability and all that BS. No I needed genuine help!
While there I had a wonderful therapist that suggested that I have to let go of all I believe and be open to new ways of thinking. She’d known my past as a minister and missionary. This was a shock to me, but never the less I listened and opened myself up. It was then that I began to see how my mental wellbeing and physical health had been compromised for years by my beliefs. My mind was tortured day regarding guilt, shame and sin.
Then as I engaged more and more with the others there from all walks of life, theists, Atheists, gay, straight, Buddhist, Muslims etc, we all formed a common bond. And it was beautiful. It was humanism in action. I started thinking how horrific an idea that anyone who does not believe one way would be hell bound. I found it disgusting. Always have. These were good people. Better than most Christians I knew. I’d always said that if I could let go of the belief of hell or disprove it that I would let all the rest go. Which in hindsight I can see was simply fear based religious control.
Moving forward, I began reading everything I could on different views and deconversion stories, listening to podcasts (I’ve now been featured on two) and watching debates on YouTube. I couldn’t get enough. I was obsessed. I started with Thomas Paine’s age of reason and read all I could find on Deism. Once I exhausted the very short list of those works I moved to Atheism. Started with Richard Dawkins, God Delusion. In the beginning of the book he states something like he hopes that by finishing the book you will also be an atheist. That’s about what happened.
I read everything from Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Dan Barker, Seth Andrews, David Silverman, Daniel Dennett, Bertrand Russell, and hundreds of others. But one book that got me more than any was John Loftus’ Why I Became an Atheist. Super dense and meaty, also a former believer. All of his books are profound.
I’d found my people. My community. Then I started connecting with many groups. I joined American Atheists, The Clergy Project, Freedom From Religion, and numerous other groups.
Deconversion for me was scary as it is for most of us. I still wrestle with some aspects of it but it’s getting better. Just knowing how large a group we are and reading the stories and finding relativity, has been truly life giving. I’m so grateful there’s suck a large community of “woke” people and that we’re out there fighting the good fight.
I encourage you all to continue seeking and sharing these stories as they are our “testimony” or anti-testimony rather and they help all of us. Even seasoned Atheists.
I research everything and once the TST began being more publicized and in the public eye, I began wondering what they’re all about. Of course growing up in the late 70’s and into the 80’s and 90’s the church was pushing the whole “Satanic Panic” nonsense.
At that time it was Anton LaVey at the helm of the Church of Satan. Both the TST and COS are Atheistic Satanists. Meaning not actually believing in a literal Satan, but rather embracing the symbolism and ideology of the rebel angel. Yet they are both very different from each other. Neither were sacrificing babies or drinking blood or doing sacrificial killings. Those falsified stories were all thanks to the ignorant and uneducated theists of the day.
LaVeyan Satanism is nearly dead and that’s fine. LaVey wrote the Satanic Bible, which has some good points in it but it’s also very personally vengeful and full of ritual magic which we Atheistic folk know is utter and complete bullshit.
Now, the founders of the TST realized that they could label their religion nothing but Satanism. Because of the ideology and symbolism. But they also didn’t agree with most of the LaVeyan doctrines. In short, the TST is a very Humanist and non violent group. Very politically active and I’m quite in favor of all they do especially regarding the division of church and state. Theres also a documentary out by them called Hail Satan?. I highly recommend it.
Their doctrine/beliefs are as followed and they are far superior to the 10 commandments and many other doctrines. So much so, that I procured membership with the TST myself. Enjoy.
The Seven fundamental tenets of Satanism
1.One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
2.The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
3.One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
4.The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.
5.Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.
6.People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
7.Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
There are over 10,000 religions in the world. Virgin birth and resurrection are not exclusive to Christianity. Isis, Mithra, Brahman and many others were supposedly born of a virgin and rose from the dead. All much older than Christianity.
The Bible says god is not the author of confusion yet there are 33,000 denominations within Christianity and two very different camps of thought. Arminianism and Calvinism. So a question one could easily ask is what makes your belief right and all others wrong? What an imperfect and very fallible and very human book said with over thousand of scribal errors and tens of thousands of contradictions and stories borrowed from other Iron Age myths.
You could also ask, which jesus does one have to call on to be saved since there’s 33,000 denominational variants. With those odds no one has it right just in Christianity alone. You’ve been indoctrinated and culturized in the Bible Belt. People are much better off when they wake up from the matrix of theistic delusion. Very few get out but the ones who do are very thankful.
Everyone should question everything. Study the roots of history and religion. You’ll find that Christianity as well as all other beliefs has no facts or provable history whatsoever, with only 2 outside which are believed to be add ins from Josephus and Tacitus per scholars.
Once people see the truth, they can never un see it. It’s a fable. There is no heaven, hell, god or devil. It’s fear based control. Nothing more. Time to get Woke!
One of the pivotal points along my journey to deconversion was the realization that as I was seeking counseling/therapy for various life issues at a time, that I knew I no longer wanted to seek Christian counseling but rather secular science based counseling. This was when I still held the faith. Why? Because as a reasonably intelligent guy, phrases like: “you just need to pray more” or “you need to build up your faith” or, “do you have any unconfessed sin” wasn’t doing shit to help me. All that mind-fuckery just led to deeper mental trauma. Non of that could touch my clinical depression or light bipolar swings. In fact it made it all much worse. Compounding guilt and shame and positioning me as a “less than” Christian.
It wasn’t until I sought secular, science based therapy from actual licensed therapists that I finally started getting relief and freedom. Through medicine (science) and genuine therapy (psychology).
Since these occurrences and finally using critical thinking and no longer letting the Christian community steer me away from anything other than Christian, I actually received the help and therapy I needed. And to date I’ve not had a single episode. Also largely attributed to letting go of religious dogma. I’ve never been more mentally and dare I say “spiritually” sound.
People listen, I don’t care what you do or don’t believe, if you need help for any kind of mental health or therapeutic concern, go to an actual professional! Never consult archaic and mythical books and or promoters of such for your mental health. It will only compound the problem. Use your brain not your belief! Think critically! Use your Logic and Reason!
I’ve been writing my story of deconversion from Christianity to Atheism, hoping to publish in about a year. As I’ve been doing so and going over my experiences getting free of religious dogma, I’ve noticed some interesting parallels.
1. Scripture says the truth shall set you free. I’d say that’s a true statement but not in the “truth” of Christianity. It enslaves the mind and keeps us in fear. The parallel is that the actual truth, that it’s bullshit, actually did set me free and remove fear and a lot of other things.
2. It says god is not the author of confusion. Let me tell you as a former student of theology and knowing how many different denominations there are and doctrinal differences just between the charismatics and orthodoxy, I was nothing but confused! ‘Would the real Jesus please stand up’?!
The parallel is that the god of the Bible or rather the men who created god, is/are the authors(s) of confusion and once I saw the real truth, that it’s bullshit, I was no longer confused.
3. Scripture says you were blind but now you see. The parallel, I was blind believing it and basing/wasting my life on it but now I truly do see.
4. It says I was lost but now I am found. Obviously the parallel is that believing that, I had lost myself completely doing the bidding of god for his glory completely neglecting my needs and the needs of many others and now I’m genuinely finding myself and helping others regardless of race, gender, creed, sexual orientation etc.
The list goes on forever but those are some of the most prominent ones I wanted to share. Hope some of you have been experiencing the same type of newfound freedom and liberation. Take care all.
This is likely a good place to start for my first real entry. This was the post I wrote when I was fully convinced and ready to come out as an Atheist. Enjoy.
To FB on leaving the faith. Feb 28, 2019
Greetings my friends. What I’m about to divulge I’ve put off as long as I can. I explain this simply because I’ve done life with so many of you for so long under a relative umbrella, and I hope to retain your friendship and respect. Though I am sure there will be collateral damage. I won’t be able to be very reverent. I’m prepared for that…..
I can no longer be anyone but who I am or profess or discredit what I do and do not believe. You will see a change in my posts, quotes, being, etc. A public change of being true to self. I have always done my best to do so but I’ve had to face head on where I am. I have been wrestling with this for a long time and think I even stopped believing long ago.
To cut to the chase, I can no longer call myself a Christian, because I simply do not believe in it or the claims of the church or any religious institution any longer. For a plethora of reasons. As time goes on I will be writing a lot about it and my de-conversion. A year or so ago I had a 3 day stint where I had said something similar and fear put me back in the tries of faith but it was already compromised.
So if I had to be put in a category as far as where I stand with a label, it would most definitely be atheist.
To explain all my reasoning as to how I got here, how I can live with the implications according to what scripture teaches, etc, would take a book to cover. One I thoroughly intend to write. To convey the many years of study I’ve invested in theology and religion and the particular religion of Christianity, would take half a lifetime to convey.
Those of you that know me, know that I’m a very intelligent and learned individual especially in the area of theology. So I very thoroughly know all of the apologetics, rebuttals, famous Christian sayings to try and sway one who’s fallen away. I’ve regurgitated all of it most of my life. I simply ask that you do your best to keep from trying to “save me”. I understand that many of you are hardwired to do so and there’s grace for that.
I simply no longer can ignore the facts of reality, reason and science that nature presents vs the myth and fable that all revealed religions convey.
Through a life of Christian Faith, bible college and moving from one theological camp of thought to the other and seeing all the divisions in denominations and going over all the stories and how the canon of scripture was put together, I began to question the whole thing. Mind you I finished with a degree theology, a ministers license and went straight to the mission field. So I was very well informed and educated on the scriptures and world religions. I’d encountered many questionable doctrines and practices and later questioned my own “experiences”. Well after all of that, all of my divorces, fighting my natural instincts (flesh), being so beat down feeling like I wasn’t a “good” Christian or maybe an apostate and always in fear of an eternity in hell via a “loving and forgiving God”, here 9 years post graduation I have finally come to the conclusion that it’s nothing more than myth and BS mixed with some historical characters and some archaeology.
The weight that Christianity puts on an individual is atrocious. Just searching for the real Jesus and correct doctrine within its own denominations can make one near insane.
To be born, bearing the burden of a choice made supposedly at the beginning, born into sin and having no say about it, being condemned to an eternity in hell unless you grow up and embrace faith in an individual that’s supposed to have done all these things against the laws of nature, to “save us” is asinine. To ask us to go against all logic and God given reason and ignore all that creation and nature clearly demonstrate and to ignore and deny the needs of our bodies, emotions and minds is not life but rather death.
The gospel is not good news. The gospel says that we are flawed from the beginning and that to not be flawed we have to embrace something so anti-reality and blindly believe it, or we will end up in eternal torment. Ok.
Do we not owe it to ourselves to seriously evaluate our beliefs and why we believe them?
Scripture calls God loving and perfect. I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of people He commanded be slaughtered throughout scripture felt that way. What about those before scripture was written and before He came? What about them? No.
What about the daily struggle not to sin and to constantly deny yourself? The self that you were made. What about the sin that never goes away and always lurks? Constantly asking forgiveness for who you are?
I can go on and on and on for every case put for scriptures validity and supposed infallibility. It’s formation? It’s “inspiration”? I’m ready.
I know many of you may find this offensive and my goal is not to offend you. I’m simply being authentic and will be from here on out. As passionate as I was about theology, you will see that I will be equally as passionate about my current stance. I will always respect your beliefs and our friendship. I will still be the funny, witty, loving and moral guy you’ve always known. I love you guys always and hope to see who my true friends are through this.